tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-81855740783549220292024-03-07T22:54:18.488-08:00A Life Worth LivingSHBoleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17068474381559405017noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8185574078354922029.post-28552721541367919692014-07-29T19:38:00.000-07:002014-07-29T19:38:46.277-07:00GET UP AND LIVE<br />
<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></o:p><br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I was racing
against time and I knew it. On a last minute trip to Southern Utah I found
myself on the road from the small town of Kanab to the North Rim of the Grand
Canyon. I had never been there before and I didn’t know when I would have the
time to make the trip again.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It was late
October. I got on the road at about 4:30 that morning to make the 140 mile trip
to get to the North Rim in time to experience the sunrise. Little did know that
this was going to be a pivotal experience in my life helping me to recognize
the importance of choosing to live in the present moment.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>As I headed
South on the winding dark road, a storm was slowly brewing. I never realized
the elevation of this formidable country. Snow slowly started to fall and the
wind picked up. As some point in my journey I passed an electric road sign with
flashing letter’s indicating that this was the last day the North Rim would be
open until the following spring. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I didn’t see another person, not even
a park ranger the whole way, and with the snow slowly falling, I thought about
turning around more than once. With trepidation I decided to push on knowing
that I would not have this chance again for quite a while.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I pulled
into the parking lot just as the sun was cresting from the East. It was truly a
dreary late fall morning that would have been uneventful anywhere else. Most
people would only look up long enough to realize that the sun was not going to
show its self today.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The parking
lot was empty and I was all alone. The cabins were all locked up and the place
was in its final stages of preparation for the long winter months.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I followed
the path and walked to the observation point overlooking what has been
described as one of the “seven wonders of the world,” astonished by its amazing
beauty and sheer depth. The wind was blowing so hard I had to hold my tripod
steady to stop it from blowing over. And then it happened, just for a moment
the sun came out and added a little bit of color to this amazing scene. I stood
in absolute awe of this magical and spiritual place, feeling a peace and sense
of purpose that I have become akin to only when experiencing the great vastness
of the outdoors and the natural beauty that we are blessed to have around us. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Then, it
dawned on me, out of 7 billion people on the face of the planet I was the only
one seeing the sunrise from the North Rim of the Grand Canyon. At first it was
hard for me to really comprehend that fact. I was the only one on the face of
the planet that was seeing this sunrise from this spot. I was overwhelmed by a
sense gratitude and appreciation. That experience has affected me every day
since that morning. It also taught me one of the most valuable lessons I have
ever learned. LIVE IN THE PRESENT MOMENT!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>You see,
what I’ve realized is just how numb we as a society have become to live life in
the moment and to its fullest. The truth is as we get older, we become more set
in our ways. We get up at the same time every morning and follow the same
routine. We go to the same job every day and complain about the same people and
the same mundane tasks. We go home at the same time every night and watch the
same sitcoms every week instead of living life in the moment and then we wonder
why things aren’t different. The old adage of “crazy is doing the same thing
over and over and expecting results,” is absolutely true.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>My question to
you is this; if you had a chance to do something different in your life that
you believe would make you happy, would you take the risk and do it? Are you
willing to change something for something better? What are you willing to give
to feel alive?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Now that
I’ve laid that question out there, let me preface it by stating that you have a
chance everyday to do something different and live in the moment. The only
thing that is stopping you is you. I’m not talking about packing a bag and
disappearing in the middle of the night, but I am talking about doing something
every day that makes you feel alive.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Too many of
us are either trapped in the past or worried about the future and because of
that we choose to not live in the present. The fact of the matter is simple; we
are either busy living or busy dying. There is no alternative so which is it
going to be?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The reason I
bring this up is because I have been there. I have squandered opportunities of
happiness because I was consumed with the past. I have neglected chances for
present day fulfillment and meaning by excessively worrying about the future. It
is easy to become consumed by all of the things that we can’t control. In so
doing, we essentially limit our ability to find peace and happiness in the
present. Take a moment today to look around you and see all of the magnificent
blessings that are in front of you right now. Seize the moment…….seize the day.
<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
SHBoleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17068474381559405017noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8185574078354922029.post-61064997282739488742014-02-11T07:14:00.000-08:002014-02-13T06:46:30.865-08:00WHY YOU ARE AWESOME<br />
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WHY YOU ARE AWESOME</div>
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<br /></div>
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To be candid, I always assumed that I would have my life figured out by now. I would be well established in my desired profession, successful beyond recognition and well respected among my peers. After a successful day of slaying dragons in the business world, I'd go home to an almost "Leave it to Beaver" home life where I would walk-in and be greeted warmly with a passionate hug and a kiss from my adoring wife who, by the way, has fixed an immaculate dinner, and my children are all seated around the fire completing their advanced homework assignments in calculus and biology for the following day. But real life is so very different and honestly so much better. Life is truly a beautiful mess!</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
If you're like me, some days its just enough to make it through without throttling somebody. The alternative is to become a hermit and hide up in the mountains where no one can find you, living off of tree bark and wild berries.........one can dream, right? Please tell me that I'm not the only one that has had these thoughts!? Anywhoooooo, life is complicated, and it can certainly be overwhelming. But, with that said I am so blessed to have the life I have. I have a wife that I absolutely love and adore. It certainly hasn't always been that way, we've had to earn it. I have three daughters that remind me everyday, when I look at them, that there is a God. That doesn't mean that they're perfect, some days I'd like to ship them off to labor camp deep in Siberia, not forever mind you, just for a few years. Don't get your underwear all bunched up! </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
The point is this, and its the same point for all of us, life is challenging but its also rewarding. We need to learn to celebrate our victories even if there small and even though we may consider them to be inconsequential. Nothing is inconsequential! Every little decision we make leads us on a path to our next decision.<br />
Do I tell my wife I'm sorry when I've hurt her feelings, or do I dig in and act like a $#!#@#% to make a point? Once again please tell me I'm not the only one that has done this, I'm feeling a little vulnerable here. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Do I take the time to tell my daughters how amazing they are or do I nag them about the boys they're dating? Just kidding, I'm sure he'll be wonderful as soon as he's paroled. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
How do I conduct myself in my work environment? Do I respect the people I work with? Am I honest in my dealings? Do I recognize that they are doing the best they can, just like me? Each little choice, each little action leads to another choice, a re-action. You cannot drop a pebble into a lake without creating a ripple. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
What I have come to understand is just how amazing we all are, and regardless of the tremendous efforts we put into creating the appearance that our lives are perfect, we all are doing the best we can. Sometimes that's all we can do; act like we have it together. But I've come to believe that our strength lies within our ability to embrace our imperfections, to laugh about our screw-ups and to try to treat one another the way we want to be treated. I certainly suck at it, but at those times that I have been able to do it I have felt a peace like no other. I guess the key is to not take ourselves so seriously. Isn't it amazing to realize that life is beautiful if we want it to be, or its ugly and dark if we choose it to be? Perspective is everything.<br />
In each one of us lies the divine desire to be happy. That happiness is coupled with a divine potential. I frankly don't care about the anti-religious sentiment that says "if there is a God then show me. Once I have proof I'll believe". My proof is the human soul and the unquenchable longing that exists in each one of us to love, that burning desire to make a difference and a conscience that is unique to us that tells us the difference between right and wrong.<br />
I believe that each one of us has a song to sing, a Monet to paint, a masterpiece to complete. That masterpiece is our individual lives. Through life's challenges we are stripped of everything seemingly important and forced into direct experience. That is when the real beauty begins and the artwork of our lives commences. When we choose to be stripped of our pride, when we let down our guards, when we see the unique beauty that lies within each one of us individually and embrace it, we are released from that prison of self. Why are you awesome? Because you are! No one can take that from you so start to believe it and go out and create your masterpiece.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
</div>
SHBoleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17068474381559405017noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8185574078354922029.post-38822488807167760592013-08-27T13:09:00.000-07:002013-08-28T08:36:51.370-07:00<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
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A LETTER TO MY
DAUGHTERS: WHY YOU’LL ALWAYS BE THE BEST PART OF ME.</div>
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I still remember the first time I
held each one of you in my arms. I looked at you with amazement and knew that I
would do everything in my power to love and protect you, but most importantly to
raise you with the understanding of your true potential. It is because I love
each of you so much that I want the very best for you. You are and always will
be my little girls!</div>
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<br /></div>
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I heard about the recent performances
by Miley Cyrus and Lady Gaga at the VMA’s. Knowing that MTV targets you as
their primary demographic, I decided to watch their performances and get a
better understanding of what exactly it is that they are trying to sale. Needless
to say, as a father I was completely disgusted and outraged, not only at the
performances but at the unbridled willingness of MTV to exploit these women in
nothing more than a blatant attempt to sale you this crap. They know that the
programs they air are highly provocative and that, at your age, you are highly susceptible
to those messages. They also know that they can influence and effect your-self
image, and somehow convince you that Miley Cyrus and Lady Gaga are somehow role
models that you should look up to. Understand that to them you are nothing
more than a potential target. They want you to watch their shows. If you’re not, they are going to try to figure out a way to compel you to watch. That’s as far as their interest in you goes. </div>
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<br /></div>
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Make no mistake about it, these
women are not role models. In fact they are everything that you should avoid
becoming. They do not care about you other than if you choose to follow them on
Facebook or Tweeter, and hopefully convince you to buy the garbage that they
are peddling. YOU ARE BETTER THAN THIS! Don’t let some woman that is willing to
compromise herself simply for publicity, convince you that looking and acting
like trash is the way to gain self-respect and love. It is a long and lonely
road for anyone who loses sight of who they are, and who they can be for a fleeting
moment of supposed public affection. What they fail to recognize is that they are looked at as nothing more than a circus animal, prancing around and vying for the attention of the
people in the audience. Those people only care as long as they are
entertained. Once that stops they move on to the next circus act that will hold
their attention until they get bored again and have to move on to something new and more outrageous. These women are not envied, they are objects that will be discarded when something new comes along that is shinier. They have been convinced by the people that make money off of them, and by society in general that they must do this to stay relevant. Relevance never comes through sexual exploitation and grinding on some guy for the whole world to see. Relevance comes through our acts of kindness and service to others, creating meaningful lives and careers that make a positive difference in the world, instilling in your own children values and standards that will help them recognize who they truly are, and living a life dedicated to a higher purpose and power. </div>
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<br /></div>
<span style="text-align: justify;">I love you girls with all that I
am. I love you enough to tell you, “no”. I love you enough to be involved in
your lives and give you guidance and counsel so that you can understand your
true value, your truth worth and your true potential. Know that I love you enough to tell you to, “turn that crap off’,
and demand you tell me “where you are going", and" what time you’ll be home”. I'll continue to demand to know your
friends, and ground you when its needed. I do that because I love you and you
are and always will be the best part of me. </span>SHBoleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17068474381559405017noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8185574078354922029.post-7488614478026732372013-08-16T11:54:00.000-07:002013-08-16T11:54:45.143-07:00<div class="MsoNormal">
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August 16, 2013</div>
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<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
BE THE ONE</div>
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<br /></div>
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Tiger Woods is a polarizing
figure. Because of his horrible life choices people either him love or hate him.
There is very little indifference when it comes to public opinion. However, I
learned a very valuable lesson about “Being the One” the other day. This isn't something
that Tiger Woods did for someone else, but what someone else did for Tiger
Woods. </div>
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<br /></div>
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I watched a recent interview with
the famed Billy Casper on the Golf Channel. He and Tiger had grown close to one
another over the years as they interacted through the PGA. After Tiger’s fall
from grace, many people who he considered to be friends turned their backs on him.
Some of it was justified due to his wanton recklessness and utterly selfish
behavior. He quickly became a pariah in the golfing community. He was publicly
scorned and quietly shunned by the sport and the golfing community he had once
loved. It was expected, he had brought it on himself. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Billy Casper however, took a
different approach. He welcomed Tiger with open arms. He made one golden rule that
Tiger must abide by, every time Billy and Tiger saw each other Billy got to hug
him. Tiger reluctantly agreed and the first few times the hugs were awkward and
uncomfortable. Making it seemingly even more uncomfortable Billy would tell
Tiger that he loved him. Billy chose to love Tiger regardless of his poor
choices and personal shortcomings. He chose to see Tiger for what he could be
and not for what he had chosen to be. Those intimate moments have become a
cherished connection between the two. I don’t know how much of a difference it
made in Tiger’s life however, Billy Casper made the conscious decision to try
and make a difference in the life of someone who needed to feel loved in spite
of himself. He chose to love his brother when his brother needed it the most.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Are we any different? Through our
life’s journey we will unavoidably offend others and be offended. We will
inadvertently step on others toes and likewise have our toes be stepped on.
Human nature is such that it is easier to hold a grudge towards someone than it
is to forgive those that offend and yet we all need the opportunity for
personal redemption.</div>
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<br /></div>
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We live in an increasingly
complex world. Turn on the news or read the newspaper and what is highlighted
are the stories that emphasis the ugliness of the human experience. Neighbor
pitted against neighbor, insatiable greed, countrymen killing one another over
religious differences and political corruption. </div>
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<br /></div>
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Conversely, if media outlets
chose to focus on the positive and highlighted stories about all of the good
that happens would that make a difference in the world we live in
today? I argue that it would. I am a firm believer that a rising tide lifts all
boats. So if they’re not going to do it then we have too. We have to be the
rising tide. We have to elevate ourselves above the fray. We have to be better
than we are. Each one of us has a choice; we can choose to make a difference.
We can choose to serve one another. We can choose forgive. We can choose to
love. So choose to be the one!</div>
SHBoleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17068474381559405017noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8185574078354922029.post-50425516646592421162013-05-13T08:56:00.001-07:002013-05-14T09:48:17.576-07:00STUBBORN TO THE POINT OF BEING STUPID<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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STUBBORN TO THE POINT OF BEING STUPID</div>
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The sun rose slowly through Mesa Arch in Canyon Lands
National Park. I’d never been there before but I heard that it was magnificent.
The low light reflected off of the canyon walls and turned the mesa a golden
hue. I felt alive; I felt a spiritual connection……..one that I experience often
when I’m outdoors. I felt that I was on the right path. I do some of my best
thinking out wondering around in the vast openness all by myself. It gives me
an opportunity to escape from all of the distractions, all of the meaningless
noise. It gives me an opportunity to connect with something larger than myself,
remembering who I am. Remembering that I have a higher purpose.</div>
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On that day I learned something valuable. Still struggling
with my personal challenges, I felt calm and at peace. I felt a gentle hand
leading the way. The question popped into my head in a light-hearted, slightly
sarcastic tone, “Are you stubborn to the point of being stupid?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Taking in a deep breath of the sweet
mountain air in that beautiful place, I was being nudged to be objectively
introspective. The answer was resoundingly, yes. I was holding on to the past;
How things were, how it was my fault, how I was a failure………BLAH, BLAH, BLAH,
the list goes on and on. What I wasn’t doing was making the choice to focus on
the future an all of the possibilities it holds. Self-pity does that to a
person. It saps the ability to look forward with hope and joy and forces us to
wallow in the misery of the moment. Don’t get me wrong; I love to feel bad for
myself just as much as the next guy. I play a great victim, but there comes a
time when we all have to put our big boy pants on and start living the life we
are meant to live. One without regret, one with purpose and joy, filled with
the determination to live life to its fullest, cherishing the wonders of life’s
beauty and learning valuable lessons from past challenges. It all comes down to
choice, as it should. All things are determined by the choices we make. We are
awash on the sea of life and our ability to navigate amid life’s numerous
complexities is determined by what we choose to do at this very moment and all of
the moments that are ahead. I was choosing to hold on to the past so stubbornly
that I wasn’t willing to see the path of my potential future. I was stubborn to
the point of being stupid.</div>
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Life is the culmination of the choices we make. Every choice
has a ripple affect; some large and some small but they’re there none the less.
One key to a happy, fulfilling life is to let go of what we can’t control and choose
to enjoy the ride. Robert Brault said, “The definition of an optimist is
someone who isn’t sure whether life is a tragedy or a comedy but is tickled
silly just to be in the play.” To go one step further, whether life is a
tragedy or a comedy is determined by what we choose it to be. It’s determined
by perspective.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Its spring now and life is doing what it was pre-determined
to do. The snow has melted and the world is awakening from a long winter’s
slumber. Spring flowers are in bloom, birds can be heard whistling their soft
melodies and the fields and corrals of farms are filled with newborn calves and
colts as they learn to stand on their own. Life for them is as it should be,
its simple. Why do the flowers bloom? Because the must. Why do the birds sing?
Because they can. However, for many of us, we choose to focus on the bad and
not recognize the many wonderful blessings and gifts that we have been given.
Why? Because we choose to! Let it go, life is filled with unlimited joy and
opportunity we just have to reach out and pluck it……..the tree is in bloom.</div>
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<!--EndFragment-->SHBoleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17068474381559405017noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8185574078354922029.post-36976397151767998182013-02-18T15:08:00.001-08:002013-02-18T15:10:15.763-08:00<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
Get Busy Living</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Are you happy? Do you feel alive? Are you fulfilled? Do you wake up in the morning looking forward to another day, or do you wish you could just close your eyes and go back to sleep? Is your life filled with hope and wonder or regret and disappointment? If you are not taking responsibility for your own happiness and well being who is? The answer is no one, it’s your responsibility. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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In the movie, Shawshank Redemption, one of the main characters is released from prison after spending 40 years of his life behind bars. Upon his release he realizes that through his life in prison he has become conditioned to have all of his decisions made for him. He’s forgotten how to live. His ability to make decisions for himself were taken away. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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After being paroled, he falls into the dreary routine of going to his job every day as a grocery bagger and then wondering home to sit alone in his little apartment. His life has become his personal prison without walls. Life for him has little meaning or purpose, he’s simply going through the motions. He realizes that he must make a decision, if he chooses to stay everything will remain exactly the same and he will continue to simply exist. If he chooses to leave his future is uncertain. He will have to take responsibility for his life and the unknown that awaits him. However, he also recognizes the potential that awaits him if he so chooses to pursue it. Either way the choice is his and only his to make. He decides the risk is worth the reward; he takes responsibility for his future happiness and makes the bold proclamation “either get busy living or get busy dying.”</div>
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Life is like that. I have certainly found myself facing that same predicament as I am sure most of you have. Whatever condition our lives are currently in, whether it’s the life we want or the life we don’t want, it is the life that we have created for ourselves. Yes, there are outside circumstances and conditions that affect everyone one of us, but how we deal with those circumstances and conditions is our sole responsibility. That is the ultimate power, to control one’s self. It is a power that very few people master, but those that do master it live lives of complete abundance. Their happiness is not predicated by what they have or don’t have, how they are treated or not treated, or by the current circumstances or challenges they may be facing. Their happiness is based on their state of mind and their willingness to take full responsibility for their lives and the declaration, through their choices, that they will take positive steps to move forward and face the uncertainty that we all must inevitably face. That is the price of happiness, personal accountability. </div>
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It is my unwavering belief that we are so that we might have joy. It is not a guarantee; it is a gift that must be earned. We earn it through the lives that we choose to live each day, the impact we have on the people around us, the love we show our families and the commitment and dedication we attempt to live our lives by in making today better than yesterday. </div>
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I believe in the power of the human spirit. It transcends our physical limitations. It is what elevates us to see beyond ourselves and recognize the inalienable power that they have to be the source for goodness and light and intelligence. Choose to be, it’s up to you. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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SHBoleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17068474381559405017noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8185574078354922029.post-87777427837088528562013-02-06T15:13:00.000-08:002013-02-06T15:13:41.472-08:00Reason for Hope<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
Reason for Hope</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I had a friend ask me yesterday why I have decided to share the challenges my family and I have faced over the last couple of years through creating this blog.</div>
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Without any condemnation or judgment he simply told me that he would be too embarrassed to share his personal failings and struggles with people that may turn around and criticize him for his public admissions. After our conversation, I asked him if it would be okay to use our discussion in the introduction to this post. He kindly obliged and here you go.</div>
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I used to be extremely embarrassed about going through bankruptcy and the many hardships we have faced along the way. I have always been self-reliant and proudly self-employed. I considered myself to be someone that people could go to for help rather than someone that needed to be helped, and then everything changed. </div>
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Like many of the struggles we face in life, mine has been an eye opening, pride swallowing experience. I can’t necessarily compare my challenges to those that other people face, my only contextualization has come from my own state of mind; where I was compared to where I am now. It’s through that emotional context that I have been able to relate to other people and their challenges.</div>
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The reason that I have decided to blog about my experiences is twofold, one it is cathartic for me to do so. There is truly an emotional release that occurs after I write down my experiences. It’s like slowly releasing air out of a tire. The second is by sharing my experiences I have discovered that all people are dealing with some kind of a challenge. I remember driving down the road one day and I saw this family at a stop light, as I watched them I thought, “They really have their act together. They’re not a complete failure like me.” Upon reflection however, I realized that I had become extremely good at hiding my problems. I had put on a happy face and hid behind this mask so that people wouldn’t really know what was going on with me. Maybe this family was good at doing the same. The true problem is that we have been conditioned to hide. We not only hide our challenges, we hide the life lessons we’ve learned through enduring those challenges that we all face in life. I decided I was going to throw it out there; I’m tired of wearing the mask. If describing my challenges and the lessons I’ve learned helps someone else then it’s worth it. If it doesn’t resonate with them in some way they’ll quickly become bored and move onto something else.</div>
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It’s my contention, that especially in the challenging times we live today, people need hope. That hope is not going to come through some loud mouthed politician telling us that some proposed new bill is going to make a difference, or watching countless hours of television in a mind numbing attempt to simply be entertained out of our challenges. </div>
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The solution although difficult is very simple; take responsibility for own lives and realize that our lives, our very futures, are what we choose to make them. Secondly, serve one another. Hope is fostered when people know that they are cared about by other people.</div>
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The world is an incredibly challenging place. The moorings of safety that we all long for have been washed away. That does not mean that hope is lost, it means that we must choose to be hopeful! Tomorrow is new day, no blemishes, no scares; it is what we choose to make of it. We must choose to seize the day; we must choose to seize the moment. </div>
SHBoleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17068474381559405017noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8185574078354922029.post-89775194299202368152013-02-05T14:01:00.001-08:002013-02-05T14:01:58.274-08:00The Gloves<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
The Gloves</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The first time I saw Billy was on a warm spring afternoon in 1980. His grandma pulled up to the baseball field and Billy nervously climbed out of her car and started walking towards the dugout. </div>
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His grandma called through the open passenger door window, “I love you and I’ll pick you up in a couple of hours after my hair appointment.” </div>
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I was the little league baseball coach and Billy was a last minute add-on. I didn’t know anything about him, but I admit I was agitated that I would have to make some last minute adjustments to accommodate this little boy.</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>His hair was a Sunkist blonde and he had a bowl cut that shaped his head like a little helmet. Underneath that helmet of hair, starring out at me were two of the saddest blue eyes I had ever seen. He wore a pair of Tough Skin jeans and an old pair of tennis shoes. All of the other parents had bought their kids practice uniforms and cleats. Little league was serious business. We meant to win.</div>
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Over his shoulder he had an old bat. The handle of the bat had been run-through the webbing of two baseball gloves. One was smaller than the other, the size for a small boy, while the other was a little older and more worn, definitely the size for an adult.</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Get out on the field and warm up.” I said a little too gruffly. I had to force one of the other boys from the team to play catch with Billy and from that moment on I knew he was going to be an outsider.</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He was awkward and slow, I was impatient. If he weren’t sitting on the bench, I would put him out in right field to keep him out of the way. That became our routine for the next three weeks.</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>One day he showed up a little late at practice, all of the other kids were already paired up to play catch and warm up. Frankly, I’d been hoping that he wouldn’t come.</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Alright,” I said, “I’ll play catch with you, but take it easy, I don’t have a glove.”</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He removed the two gloves from his bat and handed me the bigger one. I could smell the saddle soap that had been applied to it and see all of the creases in the leather.</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“It was my dad’s.” He said quietly. “He used to play catch with me everyday after he got home from work before he died.”</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I looked at his little face outlined by his Sunkist colored hair and his piercing blue eyes. I knew that I had failed him. He needed a father figure, instead he got me.</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I slowly took the glove, “I would love to use your dad’s glove if it’s alright with you.” I said.</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He nodded his approval and, for the first time since he started coming to practice, he smiled.</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I held the glove up to my nose and could smell the sweat of warm past summer days mixed with leather. I looked at Billy and understood that this was one of the ways he felt his dad’s presence. I gently put the glove on my hand understanding that Billy was trying to hold onto his dad, he was trying to connect.</div>
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We played catch not only that day but everyday after that.</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Today, twenty years later, I went over to Billy’s house just to see how he’s doing. As I pulled into the driveway, Billy’s out on the front lawn playing catch with his son and I immediately smelled the sweat aroma of sweat mixed with warm past summer days and leather.</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
SHBoleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17068474381559405017noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8185574078354922029.post-27382958510774095802012-12-04T13:05:00.001-08:002012-12-04T17:09:41.658-08:00A Season of Change<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
A Season of Change</div>
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It was Christmas of last year. The snow was lightly falling outside. Large flakes were slowly floating down to cover the ground in pure white. We were comfortably sitting inside watching the beauty of this amazing season unfold in front of us. </div>
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We certainly didn’t have much. We had just gone through losing our home and we were preparing to file for bankruptcy. The realization that we had to start over was slowly sinking in. But somehow, on that day, things seemed right. Our girls were happy, we were together and as a family unit I felt that we would be able to face our pending challenges and overcome them.</div>
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Watching our three daughters adjust to our new reality made me proud. They asked for little and they seemed happier with less. </div>
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After they were asleep Michelle and I would talk about how we thought the girls deserved more. How we felt we had failed them. Then the question arose, “Deserve more of what?” The girls certainly hadn’t asked for more. We had imposed a sense of guilt on ourselves for not being able to give them the kind of Christmas we felt we were supposed to provide. As I reflected on that, I understood that I was dealing with a sense of guilt and failure for where my life was currently. I believed that I deserved to be unhappy. I believed I deserved to feel like a failure. Self pity is a harbinger of untold misery. </div>
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I also knew that if I didn’t change my thinking, if I didn’t change my perspective, that my emotions would continue to cripple me. I was exactly in the place I had chosen to put myself, and I would continue to be there until I chose differently. </div>
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I had to take a step back. I had a choice to look at things differently. I needed perspective. Like all of us in life I had come to a crossroads. My life’s choice was I could either focus on the set-back and the disappointment or look at the gift I was given, the opportunity to change. I had the opportunity to learn and grow and create something new in my life. Circumstance had forced that on me. Was I up to the task? Was I willing to learn from past regrets? Was I willing to forgive myself and move on?</div>
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Ralph Waldo Emerson stated, “Men live lives of quiet desperation.” How true that is. I know countless people who live by the belief of, “if only.” “If only I had this I would be happy.” Or, “if only this happened I would be happy.” It’s cultural; it’s what we are spooned fed everyday by the entertainment we consume and the moronic celebrity culture we live in.<br />
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One absolute in life is we will go through many trials and many disappointments. But ultimately our happiness is our own responsibility.<br />
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However, that doesn’t change the fundamental question. Why do we live lives of quiet desperation? I think it’s because we live life in a state of regret or fear. Regret for what could have been, fear of failure. That regret or fear quickly metastasizes into guilt and ultimately a life of frustration and quiet desperation. </div>
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This is not to say that there won’t be circumstances forced on some of us that are completely out of our control. It does not minimize the pain or the challenges that will be presented. It also doesn’t change the fact that we are meant to be happy. We are meant to “find joy.” That is a God given blessing........ a God given personal responsibility. No one else can be in charge of your happiness. It is meant to be that way so that we learn to value our personal initiative, our free will.</div>
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This Christmas lets look beyond the mark and celebrate it for what it is, a time to be thankful for our God given blessings, not only for what we have but also for what we can become. It’s a time to prioritize and commit to a life that is greater than ourselves. A time to dream of what we can become, what we can accomplish and the differences we can make; the lives we can live. This can truly be a Season of Change. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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As always thanks for reading my blog and please share it with anyone you think it might help.</div>
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Merry Christmas and God Bless </div>
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Scot Boley</div>
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<st1:personname w:st="on">scot.boley@gmail.com</st1:personname></div>
SHBoleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17068474381559405017noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8185574078354922029.post-6786538846336100752012-10-02T11:52:00.001-07:002012-10-02T11:52:22.073-07:00<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
October 2, 2012</div>
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The Fog of Life</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>There is a story I recently read of an old man who saved for many years to go on a once in a lifetime cruise. His family was from the old country of <st1:country -region="-region" w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Greece</st1:place></st1:country> and he wanted to experience his homeland. He came from meager beginnings and had been conditioned his whole life to accept the fact that there should always be limitations on his dreams. </div>
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While on the cruise he spent all of his time in his small cabin. He read books and ate the food he had brought with him. He had filled up his suitcase with tins of sausage and cheese and he was carefully rationing it to make sure that he had enough. He determined before he left that he was going to bring his own food to save money.</div>
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At night he would venture out into the hall and watch people as they walked by in their best clothes, on their way to a show or party that was being held somewhere on the enormous boat. All the while he would be thinking to himself how ridiculous those people were for spending their money so recklessly.<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></div>
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When the boat would pull into port cities he would periodically go up on deck to take a look but never venture off of the boat. He was determined to use his money wisely and not spend it on frivolous things.</div>
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On the final night of the cruise there was one last party the cruise line was hosting to celebrate their safe voyage. A young steward knocked on the old mans door and kindly inquired, “Are you going to be attending the party tonight?”</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The old man quickly retorted, “Oh no, I could never afford to do that!”</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“But sir, you already paid for it as part of your ticket price,” Responded the steward.</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“You mean to tell me that I paid for that when I paid to take this voyage?” The old man responded incredulously. </div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Yes Sir. You paid for this party, all of the meals on the cruise, all of the fabulous shows and activities the cruise line offers, and safe transport into each city we have visited.” The steward said empathetically knowing that the old man had not enjoyed any of those experiences that he had paid for.</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Why didn’t anyone tell me?!” The old man asked angrily.</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>“Sir, you earned the money to take this trip. You paid for the ticket. We assumed that you would take the time to read the information that we gave you describing what this trip offers.” The steward said gingerly.</div>
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The old man stepped back into his room and slowly closed the door knowing that he had squandered his once in a lifetime trip.</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>How many of us look at life through the same prism, telling ourselves that as soon as we accomplish that one last task we will enjoy the fruits of our labor? How many of us tell ourselves that tomorrow is going to be different? How many of us reject the happiness that we have already earned because we are already trapped by the next challenge we are facing?</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Life is full of daily challenges for all of us. It always has been and it always will be. That’s just life. People who do not let life’s challenges define them find true happiness in the moment. We earn the right to be happy by doing the best we can do. We earn the right to be happy by not taking ourselves to seriously. We earn the right to be happy by being content with what we have today and not comparing ourselves to anyone else.</div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Take a moment and enjoy the sunset, snuggle up with your kids and watch a movie or spend time with the one you love. Those are all small gifts that are much more important then worrying about things we can’t control. Start fresh, free from the fog of life. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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SHBoleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17068474381559405017noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8185574078354922029.post-20664513930615861282012-08-16T12:48:00.000-07:002012-08-16T12:48:11.084-07:00It's Your Life, Take Control of It.<br />
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Everyone of us faces adversity. The purpose behind this blog is to chronicle my own challenges, and at the sametime share the insights that I've gained through this process.<br />
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I believe that it's through our most difficult challenges that our character is is honed. (The hottest fires make the strongest steel.) Whatever the challenge is, it is unquestionably going to have an impact on us. It's up to us to determine whether that challenge becomes a stepping stone to greater things, or a step back to further despair. Its entirely in our control.<br />
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I certainly don't have all of the answers, but I know that there are certain truths that apply to us all. These truths can help us not only overcome adversity, but create the lives that we want for ourselves and our families.<br />
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A few weeks ago I read an article about how frequently our brain transmits new thoughts. The human brain transmits approximately 6,500 new thoughts a day. That is a new thought almost every 4.5 seconds. I started to wonder, how many negative thoughts do I have on a given day. I decided to be my own guinea pig and do a little experiment. I went and bought a clicker. For those of you who don't know what a clicker is, its the little thing the counters hold as you walk into a Costco. Their job is to physically count how many people come into a store. My objective was to count how many negative thoughts I have on a given day. I stopped counting at 500 and I hit that number before noon. I realized I was consumed by negative thoughts. Those negative thoughts were a manifestion of how I felt about myself and were reflected in how I carried myself.Needless to say, I realized that if I didn't change my thought patterns I was going to continue struggle with my circumstances. I may not have control of my circumstances, but I do have control of my thoughts and how I deal with my circumstances.<br />
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The next day I decided to flip it around. How many positive thoughts do I have in a given day? Maybe they balance each other out. <br />
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That first day I counted only 42 positive thoughts. Take into consideration that I had to consciously be aware of my thoughts, so I'm sure that I had more positive thoughts then that throughout the day. None the less, it's easy to see that my dominate thoughts patterns were negative. How could I possibly began to rebuild my life when all I could see was the negative.What the mind focuses on is exemplified in how we live.<br />
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Do you know someone that is so insufferable that everytime you're around them you are emotionally drained? Their demeanor exudes a sense of dread and unhappiness. The sky is always falling. It's my contention that they act that way by choice. Subconsciously they have decided that it's easier to be miserble than to be happy. Let's be honest, human nature is to focus on the negative and not the positive. It's easier to ridicule and criticise than to help and build up. It's easier to focus on all that is bad rather than everything that is good. It truly takes effort to be happy and positive.<br />
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Life is filled with challenges for us all. Success and happiness depends on the person that is willing to accept the bitter with the sweet. How can one possibly recognize the light if they haven't experienced the dark? All things, good and bad, begin with a thought. The thought precedes the action. The action precedes the outcome. The outcome in all of our lives will be determined first by our thoughts.<br />
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My assignment for you this week, go and buy a clicker. It may be the best investment you ever make. As I said in an earlier blog post. It is our individual responsibility to "know thyself." At the end of the day, we have true control over only one thing, that is ourselves and how we respond to any given situation. That response begins with a thought.<br />
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As always please feel free to share this with anyone you may think this might help. Also please contact me with your own thoughts and feelings.<br />
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Warmest Regards,<br />
Scot Boley SHBoleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17068474381559405017noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8185574078354922029.post-69275331427819258782012-08-08T16:05:00.000-07:002012-08-08T16:05:05.439-07:00Utilities or Groceries<br />
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“If you can’t see the bright side to life, polish the dull side.”</div>
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One thing that I’ve learned about dealing with adversity is when you’re right in the middle of it, it’s hard to see the proverbial forest because of the trees. Some days are better than others, but when things aren’t going as planned, it’s much easier to focus on the negative rather than the positive. I think that’s probably a truth that applies to life regardless of the circumstances we find ourselves in. Sometimes being happy is a lot of work; It takes effort.</div>
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A few months ago I had been working on a project that had all but been funded. I was told that the project was a go, documents were signed and I was waiting to be paid for my services. I needed this project to close just to provide for my family. A lot was riding on it.</div>
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I sent my client an invoice and felt like things were starting to look-up. A few days later I got a call from my client. He told me he needed a little time to pay me he didn’t have the money and he needed some time to pay me. He needed 30 days. My back was up against the wall and I didn’t know what to do.</div>
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Two days later I’m going through our family finances picking which bills to pay and which ones I can postpone. I realize I only have enough to buy groceries or to pay for the utilities. I don’t have enough for both. At that moment, it was easy to feel sorry for myself and I did. But that didn’t solve my problem. I still had a choice to make. Depending on how I dealt with it, I was either going to make it a really big issue for the kids, or I could make it a small issue. It all depended on how I presented it.</div>
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The next night when I got home from work, our water had been turned off. I went out and went grocery shopping. I told the kids that I’d forgotten to pay the bill and that it would be back on in a couple of days. I’m sure the older girls knew I was hiding something but they didn’t let on. We made do with what we had.</div>
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In the scope of challenges other people are facing, I know that this is relatively inconsequential. However, all of our struggles are relative to where we are emotionally at that time. What may be a struggle for one person may not be that big of struggle for another. My struggle was the realization that I couldn’t provide the necessities for my family; even if it was only temporary. The blow was to my pride. </div>
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In the end what made the difference was we made the choice to get through it.</div>
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A few days later I was sitting by myself thinking about that experience. This feeling of relief overcame me. It was as though this enormous weight had been lifted off of my chest, and the thought came to me to “just let it go.” It was a voice that spoke to me. As I thought about it more, the relief I felt became more tangible. It was a real thing, an actual object and not just an emotion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wrote that saying, “just let it go” on a little piece of paper that I carry with me everyday so that I don’t forget.</div>
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I also realized that the pressure that I was feeling was just as tangible and just as real as the relief. It was a real thing, not just an emotion that I had imagined. I could feel it crushing my chest.</div>
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I’m facing one situation, and depending on how I deal with it, it affects me in two very different ways. The situation is difficult, but the outcome is entirely up to me. Ultimately what I have, what we all have is the ability to choose. That is the one constant. Our choices whether they be good or bad are ours. We can choose how we deal with life’s challenges. That is the ultimate freedom. It’s also the ultimate responsibility. My belief is once we accept that responsibility, we become truly free. </div>
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As always thanks for reading this blog. Please share this with anyone you think it may help.</div>
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Warmest Regards,</div>
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<st1:personname w:st="on">Scot Boley</st1:personname></div>
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Scot.boley@gmail.com</div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>SHBoleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17068474381559405017noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8185574078354922029.post-43157671786532579822012-07-30T13:10:00.000-07:002012-07-30T14:22:03.407-07:00A Kick in the Teeth<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Walt Disney said, “You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.”</div>
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Well, I was definitely getting a good kick in the teeth. </div>
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To get to the point where you file for bankruptcy you have to hit rock bottom. However, getting to that point is a gradual decline. It does not happen over night. </div>
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As things continued to deteriorate, I continued to naively believe that I could turn things around and get back on top of this mess that I had made for myself and my family. I just needed a little bit of luck and I needed to work harder. I think that’s a reasonable response to a self-inflicted challenge, don’t you? Funny thing though, it takes a long time for reality to set in when you become desperate. And I was desperate. That desperation quickly turned to depression. That depression fluctuated between depression and anger.</div>
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Well I’m tired of being angry. I’ve been angry for a long time and it hasn’t gotten me anywhere.</div>
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When you file for bankruptcy, the first thing you do is fill out a bankruptcy packet. The purpose of this is to give the bankruptcy court an in-depth look at your financial history. If they’re going to grant you bankruptcy relief, they want to know everything about you. In addition to that, they want you to understand what went wrong so that the same thing doesn’t happen again. Sounds pretty reasonable, right?</div>
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I had to provide them a detailed asset and liability sheet, a profit and loss statement, tax returns, and in my case the most emotionally draining document, a detailed list of all of our possessions and a value. Why was this so difficult? Because it caused me to look at my possessions and realize that this is what I had worked my whole life for. Nothing but stuff. Crap really. Don’t get me wrong, I like having nice things, but it really shed a light on what my priorities had been. </div>
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The real questions I started to ask myself were, “Outside of this stuff I’ve accumulated, what is my life worth?” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Do my kids know I love them?” “Do they know they are more important to me than anything else in the world?” “Does Michelle, my wife know I love her, and do I show that in a way that she not only knows it, but feels it?” “Have I made an impact in the world that I can truly feel proud of?” “What is my legacy?” I’d been kicked in the mouth with a steel-toed boot. I’m not satisfied with how I answered any of those questions. I’d become just another rat in the cage, working to survive and surviving to work. </div>
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We are all faced with the challenge of coming to know who we are. We must individually decide what our personal values are and then commit to living by those values. No one else should have that power over us. It is an individual mandate. What did I learn from filling out those bankruptcy forms? Man, know thyself.</div>
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As always thank you for reading this blog entry and please feel free to share my blog that you think this might help.</div>
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Warmest Regards,</div>
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<personname w:st="on">Scot Boley</personname> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>SHBoleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17068474381559405017noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8185574078354922029.post-77379031662851407272012-07-25T12:47:00.001-07:002012-07-25T12:49:10.820-07:00The Foreclosure Notice<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
I know that there are a lot of people that are going through something similar to this or some other devastating challenge. It may be the end of a marriage or someone dealing with a physical or emotional aliment. For all of those challenges you’re dealing with I’m sorry. </div>
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The reason that I’ve decided to write this blog is because there were a lot of times that I felt absolutely alone. I was depressed and angry and felt hopeless. I did not know where to go. It’s my hope that by sharing my story, it will give those of you going through your own struggles that knowledge that you are not alone.</div>
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We knew we were going to lose the house. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The writing was on the wall and it was just a matter of time. Even knowing that, when I got home from work that day and saw the foreclosure notice on the garage it knocked the wind completely out of me. I felt like I had been hit in the chest with a sledge hammer. I stepped to the side of the house and lost it. Michelle and the girls hadn’t seen the notice yet and I had to break the news to them. First I had to compose myself. I needed to be stoic and reassuring. Michelle and I needed to provide the kids with a sense of stability. We needed to make sure that they felt secure. But how was I supposed to do that when things were anything but secure? </div>
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They were giving us 30 days to move out.</div>
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You see bankruptcy is very much a psychological challenge. Everything about it denotes failure. It was a reflection of my inability to provide for my family. As a man, and like most men, I have always prided myself on my ability to provide. That is my job….. my responsibility. This bankruptcy represented an attack on my inadequacies. My inability to fulfill my responsibilities to the ones I love.</div>
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I went into the house, found Michelle, pulled her into our bedroom and told her. We hugged each other and cried. You see, at that moment it wasn’t about us and it wasn’t about the house. It was about the kids. We both felt like we were failing them. They didn’t bring this onto themselves, we brought this onto them. It was a rough day.</div>
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We decided not to tell them that day. We had 30 days to move and we needed to think carefully about where we were going to go and what we were going to say. However, that night sitting there in that house that was no longer ours, we sat with our girls and talked and laughed about what had happened to them during the day. Kenna described to us the new moves she was learning for the high school drill team. Mady filled us in on her little boy crush. And Bella just laughed and giggled the whole time because……..well, that’s Bella. We had a lot to be thankful for.</div>
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The lesson that I learned from that is to be thankful for what I have today. Somehow or another tomorrow will take care of itself. Many of you are probably like me; you look at your life in terms of where you’re going to be in 5 or 10 years. Its common, we all look towards the future, but in the process often times forget the present. How many times in our daily lives are we so rushed that we forget to enjoy the moment? Today will come and go but we don’t even realize it because we’re so focused on tomorrow. Savor the moments we have today, tomorrow will take care of itself. </div>
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<br /></div>SHBoleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17068474381559405017noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8185574078354922029.post-68724799858365573632012-07-23T12:40:00.000-07:002012-07-23T12:40:16.636-07:00The Beginning<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
July 23, 2012</div>
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It is with much trepidation that I have made the decision to start this blog. I have come to the conclusion that we live in a hyper-sensitive society in which, out of embarrassment, we often times hide the most pivotal experiences in our lives. We publicly celebrate our accomplishments and victories, but hide the experiences that make us who we are. With that said, I open myself up to whatever may come from this. It is my absolute belief that through our greatest challenges we become our strongest selves. I do this to share my challenges and the invaluable lessons I’ve learned from them. </div>
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I’ve decided that laughter truly is the best medicine. Looking back on it now, some of the experiences I’ve had over the last few years are absolutely hilarious. If it were someone else telling me the story and they were good natured about it, I would find it completely amusing. With that said, I also know that truly comes down to perspective. My perspective has changed drastically through my experiences and frankly a light bulb has finally gone on. It’s like stepping out into the warm sun after a long winter lull, or the first time I kissed my wife; it’s exhilarating. Quick disclaimer, just because I used that example of kissing my wife for the first time, does not mean it’s not exhilarating when I kiss her now. </div>
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For the record, I like quotes. I will periodically use them if I think that it will help me clarify a point. One of my favorites is by that astute purveyor of the English language Yogi Berra.</div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“You’ve got to be very careful if you don’t know where you’re going because you might not get there.”</div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Huh, what? I know, although that statement makes little sense on the surface, it describes perfectly where I was. I was lost and I didn’t know it. I had done all of the things I thought I was supposed to do to get to where I thought I wanted to be in life just to realize that I really didn’t know where I wanted to be. How’s that for a run-on sentence?</div>
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Let me describe to you my career path. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have spent my entire professional career working with some of the largest retailers in the world, helping them formulate commercial real estate strategies for their businesses growth. My expertise was helping these companies successfully execute their growth strategies by helping them understand the demographic patterns and spending habits of the Rocky Mountain Region. I’m good at my job. However, when the market started to collapse it happened fast. Plans for expansion were tabled and in the process my business began to dry up. I was in a state of panic. That was 2008. </div>
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Luckily Michelle, my wife, had built a successful business and I felt fortunate that we could continue to build that while my business slowly turned around. </div>
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That all changed quickly. Michelle’s business literally burned down four days after she received her Christmas inventory. The Landlord was replacing the roof and one of the contractors had dropped a cigarette butt into the rafters. Before we knew it the whole building was gone. We we’re in trouble. </div>
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That was the beginning of my personal transformation. I was thrust into a very uncomfortable situation, and my carefully crafted life began to unravel. Thus began my education, learning the most valuable lessons I could ever learn. </div>
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Two years later after having lost everything, our automobiles being repossessed, our home foreclosed on and filing for bankruptcy, Michelle and I still have the most valuable gift one could ever have. We have each other and we have our three wonderful daughters. Life continued on and I had learned some valuable life lessons that I could only learn by growing through this hardship. Looking back on it now, I feel so fortunate to have gone through this experience. I would not see things the same way unless I had experienced this.</div>
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I am going to continually update this blog with my stories and the lessons I’ve learned. Please email me, <a href="mailto:scot.boley@gmail.com">scot.boley@gmail.com</a> or message me on Facebook and I promise I’ll respond. Also, please share this with anyone that you may feel this might help.</div>
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Yours Truly,</div>
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<personname w:st="on">Scot Boley</personname> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>SHBoleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17068474381559405017noreply@blogger.com3