A LETTER TO MY DAUGHTERS: WHY YOU’LL ALWAYS BE THE BEST PART OF ME.

I still remember the first time I held each one of you in my arms. I looked at you with amazement and knew that I would do everything in my power to love and protect you, but most importantly to raise you with the understanding of your true potential. It is because I love each of you so much that I want the very best for you. You are and always will be my little girls!

I heard about the recent performances by Miley Cyrus and Lady Gaga at the VMA’s. Knowing that MTV targets you as their primary demographic, I decided to watch their performances and get a better understanding of what exactly it is that they are trying to sale. Needless to say, as a father I was completely disgusted and outraged, not only at the performances but at the unbridled willingness of MTV to exploit these women in nothing more than a blatant attempt to sale you this crap. They know that the programs they air are highly provocative and that, at your age, you are highly susceptible to those messages. They also know that they can influence and effect your-self image, and somehow convince you that Miley Cyrus and Lady Gaga are somehow role models that you should look up to. Understand that to them you are nothing more than a potential target. They want you to watch their shows. If you’re not, they are going to try to figure out a way to compel you to watch. That’s as far as their interest in you goes.

Make no mistake about it, these women are not role models. In fact they are everything that you should avoid becoming. They do not care about you other than if you choose to follow them on Facebook or Tweeter, and hopefully convince you to buy the garbage that they are peddling. YOU ARE BETTER THAN THIS! Don’t let some woman that is willing to compromise herself simply for publicity, convince you that looking and acting like trash is the way to gain self-respect and love. It is a long and lonely road for anyone who loses sight of who they are, and who they can be for a fleeting moment of supposed public affection. What they fail to recognize is that they are looked at as nothing more than a circus animal, prancing around and vying for the attention of the people in the audience. Those people only care as long as they are entertained. Once that stops they move on to the next circus act that will hold their attention until they get bored again and have to move on to something new and more outrageous.  These women are not envied, they are objects that will be discarded when something new comes along that is shinier. They have been convinced by the people that make money off of them, and by society in general that they must do this to stay relevant. Relevance never comes through sexual exploitation and grinding on some guy for the whole world to see. Relevance comes through our acts of kindness and service to others, creating meaningful lives and careers that make a positive difference in the world, instilling in your own children values and standards that will help them recognize who they truly are, and living a life dedicated to a higher purpose and power.  

I love you girls with all that I am. I love you enough to tell you, “no”. I love you enough to be involved in your lives and give you guidance and counsel so that you can understand your true value, your truth worth and your true potential. Know that I love you  enough to tell you to, “turn that crap off’, and demand you tell me “where you are going", and"  what time you’ll be home”. I'll continue to demand to know your friends, and ground you when its needed. I do that because I love you and you are and always will be the best part of me.    

August 16, 2013

BE THE ONE

Tiger Woods is a polarizing figure. Because of his horrible life choices people either him love or hate him. There is very little indifference when it comes to public opinion. However, I learned a very valuable lesson about “Being the One” the other day. This isn't something that Tiger Woods did for someone else, but what someone else did for Tiger Woods.

I watched a recent interview with the famed Billy Casper on the Golf Channel. He and Tiger had grown close to one another over the years as they interacted through the PGA. After Tiger’s fall from grace, many people who he considered to be friends turned their backs on him. Some of it was justified due to his wanton recklessness and utterly selfish behavior. He quickly became a pariah in the golfing community. He was publicly scorned and quietly shunned by the sport and the golfing community he had once loved. It was expected, he had brought it on himself.

Billy Casper however, took a different approach. He welcomed Tiger with open arms. He made one golden rule that Tiger must abide by, every time Billy and Tiger saw each other Billy got to hug him. Tiger reluctantly agreed and the first few times the hugs were awkward and uncomfortable. Making it seemingly even more uncomfortable Billy would tell Tiger that he loved him. Billy chose to love Tiger regardless of his poor choices and personal shortcomings. He chose to see Tiger for what he could be and not for what he had chosen to be. Those intimate moments have become a cherished connection between the two. I don’t know how much of a difference it made in Tiger’s life however, Billy Casper made the conscious decision to try and make a difference in the life of someone who needed to feel loved in spite of himself. He chose to love his brother when his brother needed it the most.

Are we any different? Through our life’s journey we will unavoidably offend others and be offended. We will inadvertently step on others toes and likewise have our toes be stepped on. Human nature is such that it is easier to hold a grudge towards someone than it is to forgive those that offend and yet we all need the opportunity for personal redemption.

We live in an increasingly complex world. Turn on the news or read the newspaper and what is highlighted are the stories that emphasis the ugliness of the human experience. Neighbor pitted against neighbor, insatiable greed, countrymen killing one another over religious differences and political corruption.

Conversely, if media outlets chose to focus on the positive and highlighted stories about all of the good that happens would that make a difference in the world we live in today? I argue that it would. I am a firm believer that a rising tide lifts all boats. So if they’re not going to do it then we have too. We have to be the rising tide. We have to elevate ourselves above the fray. We have to be better than we are. Each one of us has a choice; we can choose to make a difference. We can choose to serve one another. We can choose forgive. We can choose to love. So choose to be the one!